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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Hello, hello! And welcome to another episode of Inner Work for Greater Good. My name is Emily Eldredge. I am with ChangeLight. Go to ChangeLight that world where you can take our free course and join the free community, and connect with other people who are doing their inner work to help them feel good, so they can do. Go, do more good in the world. Is that my opinion is what it's all about when we feel good. When we're more at peace with our cell phone, we're healthier inside. Then we show up better. Then we have better relationships than we have
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: bigger impact in our respective environments, whether it's work or family, or relationships, or just on the street. How you show up with other people, even with total strangers. It really makes a difference doing this in your work so that you can achieve and have in the world greater. It achieve whatever impacts the world in a better way.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Okay, whatever, anyway. So today's topic is what's blocking zoom there's a lot of talk, obviously, and I've talked about it, too. And when it comes to, you know, psychology and emotions like I feel so blocked, and it's like there's something blocking about blocks and triggers and
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Blind Spot rooms, and all these things. They feel like they get in the way of us being our full itself. But it can also just be getting in the way of moving forward, getting in the way of
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: doing good, getting in the way of connecting with other people. So that's actually the first question when we talk about what's blocking you think about for yourself what's blocking them.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: but also even more specifically like what's logging you from what I mean, the implication is you're being blocked from something. But if you could unblock this thing or remove this this thing, then you could actually achieve whatever it is that you want to achieve, whether it's
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: something in a relationship. Whether it's, you know, feeling more, at least with yourself. Whether it's, you know, taking that first step or that 10 step on something.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So that's I think the first question is, what's blocking you?
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And the reason why this came to me is because I had a It was actually a few weeks ago I had a client session, but it's been for the new podcast that's coming.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and if you go to my website you can say I'm offering free sessions for the podcast ChangeLight that world Forward, Slash! Podcast something I've been working on for a few weeks now, but the point is, there was one session in there that's gonna be Possibly the first episode
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in which she's talking about this recurring memory that she keeps having.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And she doesn't know Why, it is just talking to her head, and even though she herself, in her sort of adult mind, was like, you know. Oh, I don't know. It just seems to silly. It seems kind of funny.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: you know. It kept popping up for a reason, and I always say if something keeps popping up, and there's something in that for you whether it's wisdom or realization or wound. You got a deal or a defense mechanism that needs attention or whatever. So something keeps popping up. There's something in it for you to process and to receiving insider wisdom from
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: what you feel.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So in this case she had a memory that it kept popping up. And and what kind of a fun? Well, I see fun only because it's going to be fun to present it in the podcast.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: What basically happened is it became clear that it's like, okay, we're working with this little girl inside of her, which, if you know, the 3 types of exPowers. Please, please watch my videos on those. You'll know that an inner child is usually what I call it in a room did, because it is hurt in some way, and it
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: carries the wounds from an interaction or a chronic stress, or whatever it is. So it was clear that it in a Wounded was showing up, and that we needed to work with that in a Wounded. So she started, you know, noticing this little girl. But now, all of a sudden what pops up.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and to her credit she has such a great high self level of self-awareness. She said. Oh, my critics showing up
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: so if you know from my other episodes, and our critic is what I call it in our Controller, so it's part that's tearing it down, or it's pushing you too hard, or whatever and other in some way or another, it's trying to call control view, or a part of you.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: in terms of so what happened was there was a Wounded that popped up. That was clear. We needed to work with that Wounded, and yet the inner critic shows up, and it's stopping the process.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So when we talk about what's blocking you in her case, you know, she was having some struggles with work and basically playing it pleasing everyone else, and not taking enough care of herself. So what was really what she was feeling blocked from is self, care.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and self, respect, and boundaries. So those were the things that you know. So if you were to ask for what's blocking you, or what you feeling blocked from, she would say those things. And so the whole point was to get in there and go. Okay, what is it? It's blocking this. What is blocking? Feel this way to do this thing or show up in this way.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so, sure enough, it started off like, oh, it's a little pearl. It's! It's an inner Wounded. But then pretty soon we go. Oh, wait a minute. There's a quick here, there's a Controller here. So first of all, let's just stop for a second when we talk about what's walking with. It may not be just one thing.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: There may be layers or a parts inside of you that are actually causing you to feel a lot or prevented from doing something. And so in this case she had 2 layers. She had
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: the inner room did, which was a part of the inner dynamic that was causing. You know, these behaviors of this
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: situations and patterns of her life. But then there was the the Controller that was also preventing. And actually it was preventing us from reaching that in our child which is very, very common, Controllers. Often lots of Controllers don't want us to go there. They don't want us to deal with feelings.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: They're scared for us, and so they will try to control the situation and prevent that. So, sure enough. That's what this credit is doing.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So what was blocking her?
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: 2 things? It was the inner critic, and also the inner and the inner child is in in this dynamic that she was trying to overcome into internally. And
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: so that's where you it's a matter of
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that. You can have different layers. But it's also. What is it that you're being blocked from, and that there can be different layers in that, you know, even though it may seem like it's just one block that can actually be several different ones, because it can be one. It's trying to prevent you from actually
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: letting go of the other. I mean. There's all kinds of things. So it's just there's like such a richness of layering and actually a friend of mine. She likes to. She likes the analogy of the of the garlic. You know what you have parts that you have layers of part. So really it's almost like.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: instead of being onions, it's almost like with garlic. So just to use for for analogy, I think it's kind of fun.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But the point is that, and obviously there can be different things that block us, and i'm not going to get into like a neurochemistry or any of that. Sometimes you know it's like I feel like i'd be blocked from from joy.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know it could be that you actually have a so there can be other things. But from where I sit in the work that I do. There are 3 types of inner parts that block us. So when you say what's blocking you.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: these 3 types, those exPowers can block us in different ways, based on whatever dynamics that they have created or perpetuated in Silas.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So I've already mentioned Controllers. So, for example, you could say, Well, what's blocking me from feeling joy? And again.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Well, what's blocking me from feeling sure Well, there can be actually any number of things that are blocking you from feeling joy. You could have a Wounded that's in pain.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and it's scared that if it lets go of that name, then you're gonna end up being vulnerable to being hurt like that again. So that could be one thing that a part of you is hearing, so that Wounded could be blocking you
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: from feeling joy.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But you can also have a a Defender. and the sender is another one of those 3 parts that is sort of like an inner role in its defense. It's a defensive. It's a defense mechanism, but it's a defense defense.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and so it could actually be by trying to keep out any bad feelings. It could also be preventing me from feeling good feelings like joy, you see. So it could be that. What's blocking you as a
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that's actually just kind of cutting off any sense of connection or flow of energy or emotion.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: It could also be a Controller. It could be a Controller that has your critic or some other part of you that's trying to keep you from feeling joy. Because this is very common. It's afraid that
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: let me put it this way. If you've had an experience in your life where you feel so so happy, especially as a kid. Right? Yes, and you're so excited. and then mommy or daddy, or someone came along and said, No, that was bad. You shouldn't have done that
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that can create that inner Controller that says, oh.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: it's not safe to feel joyful, because if I feel joy or do something that brings me joy, someone's going to criticize me for it, you see. So that is how, when we talk about
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: what your what is blocking you?
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: It's a matter of what is that you feel like you're being blocked from, and then it's a matter of looking at. Well, if any of those different parts inside of you that are trying to block it for different reasons, we're trying to prevent you
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: which leads me to. For example, if it's if if you're feeling blocked from feeling it inner piece. Okay, you want to feel it. Peace with yourself. You want to just love yourself and accept yourself. Okay? What's blocking you?
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Well, again, it could be the one because that really feels a lot of shame and self flagellation and and wrong. I'm wrong, and i'm back. Okay, so you could have that one day you could have the inner Defender. That is so vigilant
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: because of the fear inducing experiences you've had in your life. And so it's not trying to block you from inner piece from doing a piece with yourself, but it's vigilance can make you feel like you're always on it. You're always having to defend yourself.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And then the other Controller now in our Controller can work both ways, if you know. When I talked about, you know types of inter Controllers. Some of our Controllers are pulling this back.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Some of our Controllers can be pushing us forward so you could have an inner Controller that fully be back and trying to keep you in and trying to prevent you from actually stepping out, shining your life, feeling good about yourself because it's afraid that you're going to get criticized or hurt.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Conversely, it could be an inner Controller that's pushing you, and so that it's always trying to get you to succeed to achieve. And in that case you're not in an interface because you never feel like you're ever enough.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And the truth is that inner Controller is trying to help you feel better. It's trying to prevent you from feeling like a failure or loser, or whatever. But what ends up happening is, it ends up, causing you to feel exactly the way it doesn't. It says it doesn't want you to feel, you see, so I I realize that it may sound really really complicated.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: but it's a way of starting to recognize the dynamics that are in there.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And what is it that's controlling or blocking, defending, or carrying one, or whatever? What is it that you're getting blocked from another One just really quickly is sometimes. And I had a client like this recently, where she she is such so good at connecting with other people.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And yet she really struggles with receiving their help. And so she's really good at helping them. She's really part time with receiving help herself. and we discovered that it was an inner wall inside of her. And this wall, so actually the wall had kind of a Controller energies as well. But usually a wall. Keeping people out is a Defender.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so the point is is that her deepest desire was to feel that even flow of connection with others, whether in romantic relationships or personal relationships. This comes a lot of a lot, though, in romantic relationships, you know I have
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: plenty of like women. Clients will just so hyper independent, and they're so hyper. You know they they they they they're so much about like I'm going to be strong and independent and forward to my own way. But what ends up happening is, they end up having trouble being vulnerable, connected.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: receiving support from from you know their their romantic relationship; the second for them to I'm. Just saying this. This is a very common common dynamic
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that people have.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and usually it's because we've got some kind of in our Defender inside of you that while it's protecting you
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: from getting hurt. and it may be preventing
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: disconnection or preventing that kind of pain in relationships, it can also be preventing connection, and all the good stuff
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: in relationships. I'm. A love and support.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and whatever else it is that you want, and you need in that romantic relationship with others and connection with others. So
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: what's blocking you. you know, If you watched my show before you'll know that it's gonna come down to really doing that in our work
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and being aware of the dynamics inside of you. So when you think about.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: stop for a second, as always, and do the first 3 steps of the drawing up process, you can line up for free it and ChangeLight that World Community dot ChangeLight that will join the community in in there. Take the free course, but I will guide you to notice. Just be aware of what is the block?
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: What feels like it's stopping me or preventing me keeping me from so on the black.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And it could be it could also be your product Controller it could be. You've got a Defender. It could be that You've got some kind of demand dynamic of all 3. This does happen as well where you may have a
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Controller who is attacking the Wounded, and the Defender is trying to keep away the control
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: so it gets. It can get pretty crowded inside, but it's really fascinating, and the more you can understand these different types of parts, the easier it is to swap it out and see where it leads. It may start with the wall, or they start with a critic, or it may start with a child
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that's carrying the rooms in your childhood. It's keeping you really feeling safe and a peace, and connected, and whatever it else that you feel like you're blocked against block away from all right, as always, I hope this has been helpful. This is Emily. I'm Emily alterage with ChangeLight that world.
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Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and I will see you next week.
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