TRANSCRIPT
WEBVTT
1
00:00:01.230 --> 00:00:06.270
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Hello Hello hello, and welcome my release, you can see my microphone here let's pull this down a little.
2
00:00:07.080 --> 00:00:13.110
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So it's not like a big black spot on my chest um hello, my name is Emily Eldredge I am the.
3
00:00:13.980 --> 00:00:22.920
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: host of Inner Work for Greater Good, the founder of ChangeLight the creator of the ChangeLight System, which is all about transforming rapidly transforming.
4
00:00:23.190 --> 00:00:41.670
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Your inner darkness back to life's light, so that you can have the greatest most positive impact possible on that you're here to have and also really brings your energies together sorry i'm a little frazzled I just got off another call I apologize let's let's just take a deep breath.
5
00:00:43.110 --> 00:00:57.690
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: All right, and i'm so happy to have you here Thank you so much for coming today's topic has to do with, why is it so hard to speak your truth, so when I talk about.
6
00:00:58.290 --> 00:01:06.390
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: If you saw any of the previous episodes when I talk about the ChangeLight System, I talked about how really The ultimate aim the ultimate goal.
7
00:01:06.690 --> 00:01:19.920
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: is to fully own live and actualize your unique truth and your truth is what I defined as your inner knowing of who you are and who you're here to be.
8
00:01:20.430 --> 00:01:32.730
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so it's it's within everyone, you have your own truth, I have my own truth and when we truly honor our truth and we live it that's when we light up the brightest possible so.
9
00:01:33.330 --> 00:01:42.630
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: it's this incredible power that we have inside of US it's this incredible wisdom that we all carry it's this incredibly strong compass.
10
00:01:43.020 --> 00:01:50.700
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That can guide us in everything we do and make life so much more effortless and enjoyable.
11
00:01:50.970 --> 00:01:58.950
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and help us feel so much more at peace with who we are and what we do, because we know that we are guided by that truth and we know.
12
00:01:59.220 --> 00:02:06.420
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That we are having the greatest possible impact, when we are living from our own truth, I often say what you're doing.
13
00:02:06.750 --> 00:02:13.770
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: come from your being and oftentimes we do it the opposite, we tend to do as a way of trying to change or be something.
14
00:02:14.010 --> 00:02:20.400
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And instead it's more about when you truly know who you are and who you're here to be, and you are in tune with your truth.
15
00:02:20.700 --> 00:02:29.820
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and your actual realizing it and one of the steps of actualize, and that is to speak your truth, very important to declare your truth on.
16
00:02:30.390 --> 00:02:39.480
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That what happens is that that when you're fully living from your space of truth, that is when you are most that that is when you are most empowered.
17
00:02:39.780 --> 00:02:50.100
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And that is really ultimately your job that's that's how I see it, that's Our job is that we are here to live our truth, no matter what, and then that's when we feel the most of peace and the most empowered.
18
00:02:50.730 --> 00:02:59.700
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So it's really been kind of a key question to say, well, why is it so hard to do that because it's like if we all have.
19
00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:13.560
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: This amazing this inside of us that our job is just simply to tune into it and live it and that when we live it we have we can have so many amazing experiences and life can be easier in so many ways.
20
00:03:13.830 --> 00:03:25.260
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Why is it so hard for us to really allow ourselves to go there and really allow that light to shine really allow ourselves to be guided by that inner innate compass that we all have.
21
00:03:25.680 --> 00:03:29.880
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Why is that so hard, why is it so scary.
22
00:03:30.750 --> 00:03:39.630
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so I should actually say it can be hard but it's actually more because it's scary So why is it's so scary to really live your truth so.
23
00:03:39.930 --> 00:03:47.130
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I just spent a little bit of time defining capital T truth, but I also want to allow space in this conversation.
24
00:03:47.340 --> 00:03:56.490
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: For I would say lowercase T truth, because sometimes So when I talk about truth that can be your truth like I said, who you are and who you're here to be.
25
00:03:56.790 --> 00:04:06.480
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But it can also be how hard it is about this, we can talk about how hard it is to speak your truth, meaning like something that is just reality.
26
00:04:06.690 --> 00:04:20.310
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Something that may have happened to you, something that you've experienced or something that you're feeling in the moment, so that can also be truth as well just reality just this is what's true for me right now.
27
00:04:20.700 --> 00:04:30.930
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so it can be hard to really express that as well well it's I mean I think if you just sit for a second and you look at why is it so hard for me to actually just.
28
00:04:31.650 --> 00:04:45.420
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: say it own it declare it and I think that you could easily come up with your own reasons why it's so hard we've all run into this, the difficulty of doing that and, frankly, it just comes down to one word it's fear.
29
00:04:46.170 --> 00:04:56.130
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Right easy it's fear questions are what are the fears what kinds of fear, why are we so scared.
30
00:04:56.940 --> 00:05:08.220
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So it can be the fear of so i'm going to i'm actually going to parse this out a little bit um let's put it this way, so again we're when we're talking about truth here we're talking lowercase T truth and uppercase T truth.
31
00:05:08.790 --> 00:05:20.190
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so, whether it's declaring our truth, as we feel right now let's say, for example, or our truth, as in like this is, who I am, and this is why I know that I am.
32
00:05:21.270 --> 00:05:24.480
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or who i'm here to be or the presence, like, I want to be.
33
00:05:25.650 --> 00:05:31.770
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Is that we can be often we were afraid of being rachel's we're afraid of people making fun of us.
34
00:05:32.550 --> 00:05:42.810
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And we're afraid of being criticized we're afraid of people tearing us down for or attacking us for what we express.
35
00:05:43.350 --> 00:05:53.640
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And what we claim to be true for ourselves we're afraid of rejection, I mean ultimately that's what a lot of it is about is the fear of rejection, the fear of.
36
00:05:54.300 --> 00:06:04.320
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: alienation the fear of abandonment, the fear of not being in connection with others, I mean after all isn't that what like rip you know ridicule and criticism are ways of.
37
00:06:04.710 --> 00:06:13.170
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know their their way of putting someone down and creating a disconnection and so ultimately we're afraid of disconnection.
38
00:06:13.470 --> 00:06:18.750
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: we're afraid of a lack of safety, so we might also be afraid of punishment.
39
00:06:19.020 --> 00:06:29.160
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: They were afraid of being punished for speaking truth, a lot of people went into this when they grow up in families where, for example, if there were some big secrets within the family.
40
00:06:29.430 --> 00:06:36.330
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That like let's say the parents were like we don't talk about that and pretend like it's not happening, and this happens, a lot with.
41
00:06:36.780 --> 00:06:46.350
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: With abuse with all kinds of abuse and maybe the parents wanted to sort of portray the family as there were perfect and everything's great, but in reality and secret there were some.
42
00:06:46.650 --> 00:06:55.200
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: There were some pretty horrible things going on, and so, then you come from that culture that family culture of secrecy speaking truth.
43
00:06:55.620 --> 00:07:11.790
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: can be terrifying because it can bring up all those fears of alienation or even if maybe at some point, you did speak the truth to someone and then were punished for it well, then of course you're going to end up with terrible fear.
44
00:07:12.120 --> 00:07:24.240
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: of being punished for speaking the truth, even if it is what's true even as an adult when you're out of that home and you are more of a sovereign individual you're not you know at.
45
00:07:24.540 --> 00:07:37.800
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: The mercy or the whim or under the thumb of those same people, those fears I talk a lot about this with X powers right those fears still exists, inside and therefore they are acting on either.
46
00:07:38.250 --> 00:07:48.150
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: suppressing or undermining or you know, having all kinds of reactions against this desire to speak truth.
47
00:07:48.900 --> 00:07:58.500
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So there can be all kinds of fears that fuel our you know why it's so scary and so hard to really speak your truth.
48
00:07:59.250 --> 00:08:22.410
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Another reason, though, too, is fear of your own power so i'll tell you from my experience in terms of as i've over the years, become more increasingly aware of the power of my truth, as in like how it feels inside me, it can feel really overwhelming.
49
00:08:23.490 --> 00:08:30.870
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And it can feel like holy cow what will I do with what could I what would I do with this power.
50
00:08:31.380 --> 00:08:41.580
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And also, of course, the fear of if I express this power if I start actually embracing it and showing up in a different way, because of.
51
00:08:41.910 --> 00:08:57.630
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: i'm allowing this power to really come through me, oh no then How are people going to react to me right, so, then it becomes this it's an inner fear of owner who will I become and who can I, in some ways, no longer be an.
52
00:08:58.290 --> 00:09:04.860
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: example i'm going to segue here a little bit example is, for example, I was talking to the client about this and i've run into this myself.
53
00:09:05.370 --> 00:09:13.530
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: When, as you start to really own your power at the same time, it also means having to let go.
54
00:09:14.130 --> 00:09:22.680
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Of those parts of you or that identity that you might carry about being or feeling or believing yourself to be disempowered.
55
00:09:23.280 --> 00:09:28.860
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so that can create a lot of conflict and pain and fear and struggle.
56
00:09:29.220 --> 00:09:38.580
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because those parts of you who've been very identified with let's say that victim mentality, or that victim identity, I think i've actually talked about this in another show episode.
57
00:09:39.360 --> 00:09:49.920
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But there's parts of you that are very identified the fat can find that very scary because they derive some sort of a weird way counterintuitive way they've derived some amount of power.
58
00:09:50.400 --> 00:10:01.800
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: From that identity and probably some amount of protection that carrying that identity has protected you in some ways from now, maybe taking risks that could get you hurt or.
59
00:10:02.490 --> 00:10:09.810
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know, protected you from really stepping out and shining your light, because you know, maybe you would get ridiculed or criticized by the people around you.
60
00:10:10.260 --> 00:10:15.000
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So the point is that we can have that fear of our own power.
61
00:10:15.450 --> 00:10:25.410
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because we're afraid of what would happen we're afraid of how it feels because it's overwhelming and it might feel foreign if we haven't really felt the full force of our own inner power.
62
00:10:26.340 --> 00:10:30.990
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And then it starts to jostle all these other parts of us, and then these other parts of us feel threatened.
63
00:10:31.770 --> 00:10:44.160
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And then also, though, because, as we start to show up in a more empowered way we might be afraid of well obviously we're afraid of all the ridicule or the criticism or the putting down or the or the ostracization.
64
00:10:44.700 --> 00:10:59.040
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: um, but you can also be afraid of own know what kind of impact might I have on others if I show up in that way So what do I mean by that, like, for example.
65
00:10:59.670 --> 00:11:09.360
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know a lot of us have had experiences and I work with clients have had these experiences, where they were in a situation where they spoke truth.
66
00:11:09.870 --> 00:11:28.590
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: From a place of their true power and actually this one particular one i'm thinking of is she was actually asked to do this in the moment and so she did, and she saw what she said was right, it was true, and she spoken very clearly and very powerfully.
67
00:11:30.150 --> 00:11:39.780
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: As a result, or following I should say her speaking that truth in that power, the two people to whom she was speaking got divorced.
68
00:11:41.070 --> 00:11:49.890
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And ever since then so she started when she was a child, so ever since then and i've actually had quite a few clients for this was the case, ever since then.
69
00:11:50.910 --> 00:11:56.100
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: This person form the belief that, oh no it's my fault that my parents got works.
70
00:11:57.900 --> 00:11:58.830
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And so.
71
00:12:00.330 --> 00:12:08.580
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Kate here's The fact of the matter, no, it was not your fault, no, it was not that child's fault it's never ever that child's fault.
72
00:12:09.000 --> 00:12:13.650
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Those two people the parents made the choice to get divorced.
73
00:12:14.160 --> 00:12:24.270
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that's their own choice and the child did not have control over that choice, even if they were one of the people who to expressed a truth.
74
00:12:24.510 --> 00:12:35.190
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That may be needed to be heard in the moment, or at least that was what they felt was true in the moment but those two people still made the wrong choice, nevertheless, as children, we tend to be very.
75
00:12:36.360 --> 00:12:49.440
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: for lack of a better term I guess egocentric egocentric or we tend to we tend to be almost like over believing in our own sense of being able to like control our environment and being responsible for everything and.
76
00:12:49.920 --> 00:12:58.680
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Child psychologists were sitting here, they could probably tell you what phase of childhood that's in or what have you but as children, we tend to think that it's our fault that things happen.
77
00:12:59.040 --> 00:13:02.880
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Or that we made something happen there's a kind of magical thinking to it.
78
00:13:03.690 --> 00:13:08.040
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That we are responsible for things happening, even if it's other people who are responsible.
79
00:13:08.340 --> 00:13:21.750
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So you know mommy or Daddy comes home angry and they're angry at us no yelling at us and then like as children, we might think well that that that was my fault, I made mommy or Daddy and we'll know mommy or daddy's were angry before they even showed up you know.
80
00:13:22.620 --> 00:13:38.850
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But they're yelling at you, but you know as children, though, we tend to think that it's our fault so that's just part of the way were you know when we're kids that's kind of the way we are the way the brain works, but the point is that that can lead to, then a fear.
81
00:13:40.050 --> 00:13:53.100
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: of our own power because we may have had those experiences, where we were standing in our truth and we were standing in our power, and we will just being our full selves are speaking what we believe is true.
82
00:13:53.580 --> 00:14:05.280
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And there were repercussions, there were consequences there were outcomes from that moment that we then think, oh no.
83
00:14:06.210 --> 00:14:17.190
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: that's then then we be that that can be understood, using the same template that can be one reason why we are scared of our own power, because then we feel like we weren't responsible for what happens.
84
00:14:18.450 --> 00:14:29.640
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So there are all kinds of reasons why we are scared of our own truth in our own power and the power that owning our truth and living it can bring.
85
00:14:30.780 --> 00:14:34.980
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: they're all kinds of reasons, so here's the question.
86
00:14:36.480 --> 00:14:44.970
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: is to really look at well, what are your reasons why are you scared, why are you afraid and i'm presuming that you are okay.
87
00:14:46.140 --> 00:14:49.530
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And I can speak for myself, is that you know okay Why am I afraid.
88
00:14:50.010 --> 00:14:58.380
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: or Why have I been afraid or even with all the work of myself, but all the work that i've done all the transformation that I have had in my life and all of the.
89
00:14:58.650 --> 00:15:04.470
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: emotional releasing and the fears that i've released and i've Drawing Out Process and all that kind of stuff.
90
00:15:04.800 --> 00:15:14.520
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Even with all of the inner work that i've done, why do I still have these sort of lingering like fears and not even realizing sometimes that their fear.
91
00:15:15.420 --> 00:15:20.340
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That it's fear expressing itself, you know, but why are they, why is it still here what's happening.
92
00:15:20.790 --> 00:15:39.210
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And I mean, as you can imagine, and I often do this usually I talk about something that's come up this in the last week and, for me it was that I am i'm constantly asked to explain what I do and I have always had a hard time with it, I just always struggled with it.
93
00:15:40.290 --> 00:15:48.360
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because it's like I, because what I do, and you may have this experience you're like oh it's so big it's so like.
94
00:15:49.080 --> 00:15:57.120
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I knew what i'm here to do it, but it's hard to put it into words and that's one reason also, because i've been afraid that people wouldn't get it.
95
00:15:57.660 --> 00:16:12.750
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So i've always like contorted my language, to try to well it's like this and that and try to think of what's the language that they would understand, so that I can try to bring this into right war, because i've been masking.
96
00:16:14.130 --> 00:16:32.160
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: What I really do masking the truth and the power of what I do and who, I am and who want to be, you may you may identify with this um and so What do I mean by masking I mean like not being completely.
97
00:16:33.780 --> 00:16:39.150
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: i'm not gonna say transparent, because that implies by lie it's more about fun I going.
98
00:16:39.600 --> 00:16:49.710
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Well here's what I do back here but i'm going to sort of put this mask over it, and try to like you know dumb it down or i'm going to try and kind of dilute it dilute it.
99
00:16:50.550 --> 00:17:01.110
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: um so that it's sort of it's more palatable for people, so that people aren't turned off by that so they're not freaked out so they don't dismiss me as this or that.
100
00:17:01.890 --> 00:17:17.670
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So that they you know I can try to like speaking their language but that way if i'm speaking in their language and with their sort of energy or 10 or whatever, then you know, maybe they'll accept what i'm not accept me more and accept what I do more readily.
101
00:17:18.930 --> 00:17:32.700
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Well, imagine what happens when we do that i'll tell you for myself, I have struggled with how do I speak about what I do I have them not been fully just shining my truth light.
102
00:17:33.330 --> 00:17:42.480
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: When people ask me what I do i've only momentary winners, but just shining it and just going, this is, who I am, this is what I do without fear.
103
00:17:43.200 --> 00:17:53.010
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Of what other people are going to think of how they're going to feel in reaction to it without fear of whether or not someone's going to get it without fear of whether or not someone's going to pigeonhole me to try to categorize me and go well.
104
00:17:54.120 --> 00:18:03.240
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: This because it happens all the time, I mean people will often say like oh you're a coach because in their minds, they want to put you in a box and that's fine like you know that's where our minds work.
105
00:18:03.750 --> 00:18:10.140
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But I always have to say, like i'm I don't call myself a coach and here's why I don't call myself a coach because there are people who are trained coaches.
106
00:18:10.410 --> 00:18:16.530
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And they have a right to call themselves coaches, or because that's primarily what they do is they coach people I don't.
107
00:18:17.040 --> 00:18:24.240
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: coaching people is part of what I do, but really it's the bigger techniques of transformation is that's how I see it.
108
00:18:24.660 --> 00:18:36.960
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And then also my mission is global healing and global transformation, and so my point is that we tend to mask or we tend to dilute it so.
109
00:18:37.740 --> 00:18:46.170
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: This is a long way of saying that I do this myself i'm still doing it, and so this week the past few days, since I have one particular key conversation.
110
00:18:46.980 --> 00:18:52.260
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I was like you know what I need to work on this still I still need to work on this, because I am still masking.
111
00:18:52.470 --> 00:19:05.700
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So what is going on with me why am I still so scared and what's coming up are those fears fears that are related to things that happened in childhood fears that are related to how i've seen other people dismissed or pigeon holed and I don't want to be that person.
112
00:19:06.660 --> 00:19:21.510
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So it's interesting because, as I was preparing this talk today just this morning is what came flying out of me was just us a bunch of questions, so I want you to write these questions down because i'm going to do this myself I haven't done it yet.
113
00:19:22.920 --> 00:19:36.240
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: As I as I, as I alluded to earlier, but a slew of questions that you can ask yourself when i'm going to ask myself to really dig down and go what is going on here Why am I so scared.
114
00:19:37.230 --> 00:19:49.740
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: um you know it's not just want to establish me it's not hundred percent scared I obviously I express myself in certain ways that used to scare me in the past, but I still keep having these spirits right it's like layers of them.
115
00:19:50.550 --> 00:20:01.350
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: um so here's first question write this down what are you afraid would happen if you were to speak your truth.
116
00:20:02.070 --> 00:20:11.580
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Now, again I want to establish this can be lowercase T truth or uppercase to true because you might be struggling right now with you really need to have like.
117
00:20:12.390 --> 00:20:27.870
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: A difficult conversation with someone or you really need to let it out about something or it can be you really need to own your power and truth in a situation or in your work let's say Okay, so what are you afraid would happen if you were to speak the truth.
118
00:20:30.450 --> 00:20:42.510
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Where the question number two, where do those fields come from so as you sit with the answers to the first question, what do you think will happen.
119
00:20:43.380 --> 00:20:51.660
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And, and you think about the repercussions other one the friend i'm going to get criticized and the pre people are gonna think i'm too big for my britches i'm afraid people are gonna.
120
00:20:52.410 --> 00:21:01.830
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know, reject me as this or that i'm afraid that you know i'm going to get punished okay well if you have a fear of being punished that's coming from somewhere.
121
00:21:02.490 --> 00:21:08.220
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That doesn't just come out of nowhere that's coming from somewhere, and it can come from a very specific.
122
00:21:09.120 --> 00:21:19.950
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Like event that happened in your life with maybe you were punished, I had a client who who, who told you know her teacher that yeah mommy and Daddy drink.
123
00:21:20.580 --> 00:21:31.140
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Too much or drink a lot, and then the teacher talk to the parents and the parents brutally punish her daughter for telling the teacher that, even though it was true.
124
00:21:31.830 --> 00:21:43.140
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Okay, so you might be afraid of being finished i'm the so look at those spheres and go well when was the first time I remember feeling this way.
125
00:21:43.590 --> 00:21:47.430
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Men men was a for summer I remember actually having that experience.
126
00:21:47.910 --> 00:21:56.760
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Another reason also, I have to say, for what punishment or rejection or whatever it may not be something that specifically happened to you, but we've seen it happen to other people.
127
00:21:57.030 --> 00:22:06.810
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That can actually be justice traumatizing when we're children is when we see things happen to other people because of the choices they made we don't want that to happen to us so understand that that's like this.
128
00:22:07.020 --> 00:22:17.460
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: peripheral or visceral or how or whatever word or what you want to use for describing how that can actually be traumatizing and directly traumatizing all right question number three.
129
00:22:19.350 --> 00:22:20.340
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Can you control.
130
00:22:21.450 --> 00:22:26.370
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: How other people react or respond to you speaking the truth.
131
00:22:27.750 --> 00:22:33.030
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Can you control that I mean really let's get real here can you control that.
132
00:22:34.260 --> 00:22:40.020
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I did a show I did an episode before that was about why we feel like we need to control.
133
00:22:41.070 --> 00:22:51.930
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And I said at the end, to make a list of you know Okay, what can I control, what can I not control, I said, you know what's gonna always end up in that fallen, but what can I not control other people.
134
00:22:53.640 --> 00:23:03.720
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: cannot control it, so can you really control how other people react and respond, and you know, one of those thoughts of that is will it.
135
00:23:05.040 --> 00:23:11.820
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Maybe you're masking because you are trying to control or maybe you're not speaking your truth, because it's a it's an indirect form of trying to control.
136
00:23:12.390 --> 00:23:23.070
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and mitigate it to keep them from getting upset, which is a little bit of a kind of a control as well you know, one of my things I think i've talked about this is that I used to like want to try to make people happy.
137
00:23:23.940 --> 00:23:28.980
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Okay, so yeah I want to make them happy, but ultimately, I was trying to make them happy, so that they wouldn't get mad.
138
00:23:30.300 --> 00:23:33.330
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So if they felt better than they're less likely to me.
139
00:23:34.620 --> 00:23:50.160
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So this can be like kind of an unconscious way that we're trying to actually be for other people, but it also means that we're suppressing ourselves and denying ourselves so okay next question what's the alternative if you don't speak your truth.
140
00:23:51.600 --> 00:23:52.620
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: what's the alternative.
141
00:23:53.730 --> 00:24:04.320
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And I would argue that think about why let's say you're dealing with a specific situation you know you really feel like I need to speak truth but i'm scared what's the alternative.
142
00:24:05.370 --> 00:24:16.500
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Keep holding it in you keep not speaking it you keep having to swallow your feelings you keep sticking with the status quo that's hurting you or hurting someone else.
143
00:24:17.400 --> 00:24:26.670
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: You know you keep denying your whites and then criticizing yourself because you're not courageous enough, I mean what's the alternative.
144
00:24:27.960 --> 00:24:33.210
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: If you don't speak your truth lowercase or or capital gains what's the alternative.
145
00:24:34.620 --> 00:24:36.690
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: what's what what might happen or not.
146
00:24:38.490 --> 00:24:40.020
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So that's what 123.
147
00:24:41.100 --> 00:24:45.300
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Okay 41234 yeah that was four five.
148
00:24:46.590 --> 00:24:50.130
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: What is the worst that could happen.
149
00:24:51.180 --> 00:24:57.810
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: If you were to truly own your truth and declare it.
150
00:24:58.920 --> 00:25:12.750
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: So this question sort of plays a little bit more to the capital T truth but but, but it can also happen to the lowercase what is the worst thing that can happen if you were to own your truth, if you were to declare it if you were to speak your truth.
151
00:25:13.860 --> 00:25:25.860
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And in this case I want you to go, I want you to use this as like a visualization to well close your eyes only do this by the way, if you feel safe during okay I don't want this to feel traumatizing.
152
00:25:27.420 --> 00:25:32.400
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Close your eyes and imagine what's the worst that can happen.
153
00:25:33.900 --> 00:25:35.970
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And play that out in your mind.
154
00:25:38.340 --> 00:25:39.690
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: there's a reason for this.
155
00:25:41.220 --> 00:25:51.060
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: played out in your mind, maybe even write it down what's the worst that can happen and imagine yourself going through that experience.
156
00:25:52.290 --> 00:25:55.110
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Okay, at the end of the experience.
157
00:25:56.340 --> 00:25:57.150
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Have you survived.
158
00:25:59.310 --> 00:26:00.270
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Have you made it through.
159
00:26:02.640 --> 00:26:08.700
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: let's just say yes, maybe you've been ostracized or criticized or you don't maybe you know I mean.
160
00:26:09.420 --> 00:26:20.760
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: This is where i'm like if it puts you in a physically dangerous situation, this is where i'm like I don't know that you should necessarily be you know declaring your truth is someone who could actually physically hurt you and endanger your life, so let me.
161
00:26:21.990 --> 00:26:24.630
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: I feel like I should go without saying, but let me just put that out there, OK.
162
00:26:26.460 --> 00:26:36.600
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But what is the worst that could happen if you were to let's say maybe it's not safe to declaring the truth to a person or group, but to me the choice.
163
00:26:37.650 --> 00:26:42.480
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: That you're choosing your truth over whatever's going on with that.
164
00:26:43.890 --> 00:26:45.150
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: what's the worst that can happen.
165
00:26:46.410 --> 00:26:55.950
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And it could be pretty terrible but here's you know, and it can be really painful but here's why I feel and I found this to be really helpful and why this works.
166
00:26:57.570 --> 00:27:03.900
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Is because what it can do is when we just it will basically an exercise of facing your fears without it actually happened.
167
00:27:05.220 --> 00:27:06.000
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: The facing.
168
00:27:07.110 --> 00:27:07.530
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Which.
169
00:27:08.700 --> 00:27:22.230
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: desensitizes you to them, they don't scare you as much as you're not resistant resistant, they can end up neutralizing some of those fears, because you go oh wait a minute in my mind I just read through this know what I survived.
170
00:27:23.700 --> 00:27:36.300
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: it's okay this isn't so scary say so, this is a really good exercise, you can do this with other stuff course but what's the worst that could happen, though they're allow yourself to feel it and get through to the other side.
171
00:27:37.650 --> 00:27:39.000
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Because I would say.
172
00:27:40.050 --> 00:27:44.160
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: 99 times out of 10 you would survive.
173
00:27:45.900 --> 00:27:49.950
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: and actually end up being stronger for it, it doesn't mean that it's not going to be painful.
174
00:27:51.660 --> 00:28:07.380
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: But just consider that i'm not here to advocate and tell you what to do, okay want to make that clear but telling you what to do, i'm just saying consider that as an exercise to do within yourself to help those fears calm and feel less scared.
175
00:28:09.360 --> 00:28:09.900
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: um.
176
00:28:11.700 --> 00:28:13.050
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And also, would it be worth it.
177
00:28:14.520 --> 00:28:19.170
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Would it be worth it to go through that that can be that's actually sort of a sub question to that one.
178
00:28:21.180 --> 00:28:36.750
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And that the final question is what's the best case scenario that could happen what's the best case scenario of you own your scenario of you owning your truth and speaking it.
179
00:28:38.940 --> 00:28:42.120
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: What kind of good to come from it.
180
00:28:43.350 --> 00:28:58.860
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And another visualization sit down and imagine see what happens what's the most amazing wonderful thing that can happen because you're owning your truth, because you're speaking, how would you feel you just have some questions, how would it feel.
181
00:29:01.500 --> 00:29:05.430
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: How would it feel, how could you live, your life different who could you be.
182
00:29:07.350 --> 00:29:08.010
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Doing so say.
183
00:29:10.590 --> 00:29:11.340
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: All right.
184
00:29:13.890 --> 00:29:17.040
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: big step big step big stuff, but I hope this has been helpful.
185
00:29:17.850 --> 00:29:26.460
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And I hope that if you're struggling with something like that that you go through some of these questions, not all the questions i'm going to go through all them because I need to.
186
00:29:26.820 --> 00:29:32.730
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: Dealing with certain situation i'm dealing with right now in terms of me being afraid of really fully fully going there.
187
00:29:33.930 --> 00:29:44.130
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: um Thank you so much for listening and, as always, I invite you to join our Community, the ChangeLight Community just go to ChangeLight dot world all the good information there.
188
00:29:44.580 --> 00:29:59.190
Emily Eldredge | ChangeLight: And really hope that you'll join us on this journey together in a safe supportive space where we can do more of this work, and you can learn more of these techniques already hands not I love you Thank you so much, and I will see you next week.
Comments